I have decided not to go ahead with my feelings! They were pretty negative back there and I’d rather not deal with that anymore. I’d rather just deal with my relationship and be happy. That being said, I am very honest about how I feel to the point where it’s Almost a flower, but it’s better that way than lying about your feelings or lying! I would rather be telling the truth about how I feel, and telling the truth about anything else for that matter and then don’t lie. That’s why I rather, unless there is a scammer involved then I have no choice but to lie about stuff I have no money. Oh, I don’t have an address blah blah blah! But that is for my own safety, but as far as my feelings are gone, so I don’t lie about that do not lie about them, and I fell a lot better when I ended up being told that I was going to the book box near my friends house! I really needed to pick me up after last night’s sh*t show! So I ended up going to go for work. As well as I went to the book boxes a pink book box and I ended up going there to catch some box. I got a lot of books. Which was good because I gave a lot of them! A lot of them were forensic books and they were slim pickings because I was not too interested in forensics. If I was in 14-year-old girl maybe things would be different and I would’ve took the forensic books but since I’m not 14 years old and I involved since then, I’d rather not deal with Forensic books, I find them very boring and very dull and some cases. I remember my mother used to, and God bless her soul But she would give me a bunch of forensic books. And I end up having to get rid of them afterwards. There is some that I kept that we’re good, but then there was also some that were not so good that were boring!
This is the Cryptid that I created this morning. I want to go with a marijuana cigarette on it had a big fatty if you would! I decided to have fun instead of being productive by the side I was going to be psychedelic and fun about my artwork. That being said, this might be a idea for a graphic novel, my friend the wendigo! If you don’t know what I want to go is it it’s a cannibalistic Cryptid that each people when they are in the debt of winter depending on the severity of winter. But I just made it a little more fun by making it look like it was smoking, a big fat Doobie! That being said, I have been very interested in urban, math and stuff but I never thought I could create a wendigo pic! That being said, I am also interested in different Cryptids the siren head as one. I might be doing that tomorrow as well, as I might be also trying to figure out the situation where I cannot see my boyfriend, but want to be in touch with him. That being said, I hope that’ll Be successful, and I will be able to keep in touch with him even if I cannot see him. Because it’s kind of breaking my heart that I cannot see him that’s where I was going on a tirade the other night! That being said, I am very interested in doing psychedelic drawings. I think maybe the next time I might do siren head! The same way that the same as the wanted to go was siren head. I enjoy a lot of creative things to do when I have these negative emotions. And I found that they were very interesting to do in the first place. I didn’t think I was good enough to to do a psychedelic drawing, even though it was simple it was something that I was proud of that. I created out of my own head out of my own anger and dismay at the point. Although the anger lingered afterwards, but then, after that, I was told I was going to the book box and that just blew it off the end and I was able to feel a little bit better and then I ended up going to work, I did my cleaning my mindfulness cleaning ! I get paid for it, but I also am mindful at the same time and I find that it helps me a lot with my issues during the day or the week!
I like my job thus far it helps me calm down from a bad night or a bad morning or whenever I have a bad time. It helps me put things in perspective. It’s very meditative, almost like wax and wax off in the Miyagi do karate! And I am proud of my work, and I’m proud of how I feel afterwards, I feel high, but it’s not from the chemicals because the chemicals are actually pretty natural based. But I do feel high after doing such a good job’s work of two hours. Or almost 2 hours, that being said, I am very excited about seeing the money rule in and my problems roll out. I find that I do this twice a week just to get some stuff off my skin if you were to say that just to get some problems off my back and just relax and clean and be done with the feelings that I have entertained for the past few hours! I do a lot of deep breathing and meditation sometimes, but sometimes I don’t have time for that so I end up just cleaning as a meditation and I get paid for it which is pretty good just like Miyagi and karate kid did with his karate. It was a form of meditation and I found this was the same thing I find if I am pissed off, I save it for when I go to my job and just clean like a bastard! That being said, I’ve never had any problems with my negative emotions well except for the bingo issue, but I am expected to think that that will not be an issue anymore because I will be having mindfulness puzzles as well as trying to be focussing on the game and not the prizes at hand instead! I think if I practice trying to focus on the game instead of the actual stupid prize, I think it’d be a lot easier on me and everyone else if I play bingo just focussing on the game instead I don’t really care too much about the prize as I get 20 bucks here and there for my mindfulness cleaning as I call it! I did not know that cleaning can be mindful until a few years ago when I was starting to watch cobra Kai. That’s when I am realizing that it is a meditation and a form of exercise, and that you can get a high from it from the indoor fin, as well as the mindfulness that you practice with the Actual cleaning, and the deed of killing bacteria and viruses! That being said, I don’t use any aerosols or anything that’s gonna affect my brain. The high that I feel is genuine from a genuine Hard work and I feel very good. Sometimes I feel too good I feel like I’ve had a coffee at some point! But it’s all good better than being stressed out and pulling my hair out or whatever hair I have out!
That Is what I think about my job and I think it’s one of the best jobs I’ve ever had if it was my first job it would be my best job I have Beginners luck they usually say. Even though I’m on disability to pay for my food, and what not, I still go for a job to clean and get spending money for my hobbies, which are usually tattoos and piercings, and be done with that sometimes a little spending money for other things as well I like books or other other stuff! That is why I clean not just for the money but also for my mental health as well as very nice to feel clean on the brain instead of not just on the body as well important to do this it’s almost as if it’s a ritual to clean twice a week a good ritual! I have heard that cleaning and some cultures That cleaning is a ritual For mindfulness, as well as for meditative and spiritual properties as well it’s very interesting to see where this will take me and then I can find myself actually helping myself feel a lot better. That being stated I will not be breaking up with my boyfriend over sh*t emotions, That would be childish. Instead, I am hoping to make a blog about my boyfriend and I. That being stated, I am very interested in blogging and turning that one into a book as well!
It was a wonderful day if I wasn’t so crabby in the morning. That being said, I’m pretty much happy that I made my psychedelic Cryptid! As well, as I found a new shopping site for pronoun pens, which are very interesting, because I am very interested in showing off who the hell I am! As you can see, I am bisexual, pansexual, and as well as non-binary, just plain natural non-binary I’m not trans! I don’t have the pain tolerance for that. The surgery that is so I just say I’m non-binary and I’m happy with that. Despite the fact that I go to the bathroom sitting down 99.9% of the time! I have been non-binary because I’ve never really worn dresses or pants. I wore whatever the hell I want that just as long as was covering the basic essentials and made me look good and pretty or whatever. I wasn’t too interested in make up when I was a young Stir. Because of my gender, I was never really a “girly girl”, why do I remember that one being a pain in my mother’s ass? I’m not a girly girl. That was her cat pee. Was that phrase and I’d use that phrase to avoid parties and that being said, I still try to avoid certain parties at involves unsavoury activities! Let’s just say just because I have PTSD doesn’t mean I have to hit the bottle the needle or the cigarette because I am having a crap day. Usually I create instead of self destructing! I also decorate my body however, I can not mess with clothing and jewelry, but with tattoos and piercings, which is how I do things instead of cutting, or making myself feel even worse! I think beautification and creativity are Much better long ways than dealing with negative emotions in a negative manner!
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