I had my breakfast I took a shower and I am enjoying the fact that it’s a quiet morning right now and I don’t have to do very much. I’m having what I a butt day where I am now sitting on my butt taking last for most of the day. I usually try to do this once a week because I moved out and about most of the week. That also, I’m also getting my tattoo done on Monday so that being said, I want to be able to do some things that are more interesting than later on after the tattoo but I also want to be able to rest my body before the car to know you think I’m sounding like I’m going to Everest, but I am not its precautionary think so I don’t pass out in the first place! I started ending up making this weird drawing that was my self portrait. I am going to show you and the meaning of her self portrait so now. That being said, I’m very excited that I use it as a profile picture on Facebook but here it is…..
One side is the prodna eyes of God cave the other was my Halloween costume showing that I am in touch with nature, as well as I have a dark past that I’d rather not remember but anyway, so dark past that I still acknowledge from time to time, whenever I have a nightmare, that being said, that is why I did this one particular south fork, and I hope I can do more other self portrait, size weather, mommy more interesting as well. This one was a little bit more Gothic, the other side, being Persian, the other, the prodna cave that I learn about it on Twitter one time or you can see the full super moon on the right side as well as the Haverlake phase. The other one was the actual idea of the purge which is my Darkside, my PTSD if you want and the small part of me is feeling is the prodna cave signify nature, which means shamanic values of healing! This is basically me with long hair! But also shows me with leaves in my hair, the green side, the prodna cave that was in Bulgaria! It is believed to be called the eyes of God cave, but anyways I learned about cancelling Twitter when I was still Twitter now it is called acts. And I still remember learning about it. Yeah, I have God cave and the actual full moon from the super moon in the actual write “eye”!
That being said, there’s a lot of things about this picture that are about me that you might find like I do have a dark past with how I was born and then left for dead being mistreated before I was adopted, and then I was also going through Catholic school, which was no cake walk for me! Let’s just say I’ve been through a lot of the trails and a lot of bullying and a lot of human rights violations while being in Catholic school. Just because I was a little different than the other student so I wasn’t white Catholic or white Christian and I was certainly not believing in the Bible or anything like that. Therefore, that was a little sensitive to them and they called me a heathen and other stuff, 911 have landed up calling me other horrible names like sand n*****r another horrible names that came came about their mouths! If I remember correctly, when I was starting my very first month of the bleeding my. I remember one kid call me the R word, and I nearly Pombal him in such a way that he ended up in a coma for three weeks. And I was threatening is Guantánamo Bay yes, I was still threaten Guantánamo Bay because the kid called me the other word and I ended up taking him up on his actions. It should’ve been him that should’ve been scolded and threaten with everything under the sun not me as I was just going through. The channels are being bullied and I should’ve been protected by the school system I never feel safe in that school system but that being said I was done with this Catholic school system because it was not exactly my idea of a school system a school system would show respect for the human rise for it students! And then on the right side of the picture, you will see that there is a small healing that is happening. What should be the prodna cave that is starting to grow inside me. Actually, this is where I’m gonna talk about my healing journey. I will be doing more self portraits!
That being said, I took a nap shaman ism when I was about 23 years old, when I was going through the trouble of dealing with my grandmother’s death. I ended up deciding that the idea of dealing with nature instead of dealing with the materialistic science of things is a lot easier than as I said, materialistic stuff then or atheist second horrible. Started getting in the crystals and stuff and she already doing a different stone cairns for the idea of remembering the ones I love to die in one was a friend. Another was a mother of mine, my adoptive mother, than there was my father, who under the spirit world a little earlier than usual and then there was also the idea of the fact that I saw you doing the stone cairns for fun because after I did the three for the people I decided to do them for fun I can show you what they look like pretty soon but yeah, I think you know what a stone cairn is if you don’t well I feel sorry for you!
This would be one stone cairn that I did for fun while I was on my break during my time working. This is why I decided to make a stone fire on the spruce up the place I thought the place Milo sprucing up no offense, but that is beside the point I decided to do some stone tire in becaus. I thought the place needs as shamans touch, as this was a health facility, I decided to do a cairn in the entrance of the facility which I did it because I thought if it was a health facility and she would represent healing and the other stuff that is good each stone came with a healing intention, and then I ended up doing the Chiron and the design. This was the example of me doing the Chiron for just for fun if you were to spruce up the place. Because I thought it needed to be a little bit nicer, looking not there was any nicer than I was but it just wanted a little bit more liveliness. Let’s put it that way and I had to do a Chyron and then there was another time that I did. This was before I had my septum pierced! I was working towards my septum piercing that week, and was going to go for a break and do the cairn tire it was a one minute break! It take me that long to do it for a short time you do a Chyron, because I am so strong because of the job I do cleaning up the place in the first place. It builds up a lot of strength and flexibility!
The reason why I do different Cairns was because my mental health worker one day I had said that if you feel very badly about your mothers death, you find a way to deal with it on your own terms in my own terms is there my Asian heritage. That being said, I just said I was going to do a cairn for my mother. And then I thought that was the end of it and then I end up doing one for my father and my friend and then turn off just for the fun of it as you can see. I enjoy doing a lot of different cairn that I cannot do it I’m not sure if there is something about the blood is too heavy and I rip my back a part!
That being said, I even try to start a business for my cairns for extra money towards whatever I wanted like oh magic, the gathering cards or something. That’s what I did in the summertime and that’s why in my self portrait I ended up including a little bit of nature, as well as a horrific heard of the purge as well, because I thought that if I included the nature which would be meaning of life and healing as well, then that would be a better self portrait than anything else and I would’ve been a lot easier as you can tell it was a good sales portion and I was able to get it done quickly and now you know why I believe our nature and nature babies believes instead of mayonnaise boys like Christianity or whatever else they come up with! Nature is what it is nature is health, health, and healing! Where are you find a man made creations have cause more problems and strife!
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